The Opposite of Popular

The online home of alleged author Victoria Leybourne

belle and the beast dance in a room full of candles


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I saw Beauty and the Beast and I have THOUGHTS

Firstly: HERE BE SPOILERS.

Guys, I am so serious, if you haven’t seen the new Beauty and the Beast movie yet and you think spoilers might, well, spoil it for you, DO NOT READ THIS POST. I do not want that on my conscience. I’m going to count to five and then I want you gone, okay? Ready?

One…

Two…

Three…

Four…

FIVE.

the cartoon Beast yells at belle to get out of the west wing

GET OUUUUUUUUUT

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2016 Week Twenty-Nine: “I say, a room full of books…”

THINGS are HAPPENING today and not in a good way so this is going to be a bit stream-of-consciousness and SHOUTY.

Just found this in my blog spam:

screenshot of a spam comment that just says "delhi escort" four times

I don’t think you can actually summon them like Beetlejuice but good try, I guess.

I did another live-tweet of a Beauty and the Beast movie: this one, to be specific. The costumes and sets are very pretty but everything else about it is deeply questionable so of course I enjoyed myself enormously. Storify is here, but here are some highlights:

 

Finally, I now have a document called this halfway through my manuscript in Scrivener but it’s not fooling anyone:

screenshot of a scrivener folder called "PROCEED FROM HERE AS THOUGH EVERYTHING IS FINE"

See you next week.

the glass slippers


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Glass Slippers Are An Objectively Terrible Idea

I went to see the new Cinderella movie today and I had a lot of feelings about it. This post is basically wall-to-wall spoilers so don’t read it if that is something you care about.

Okay, so there’s this girl called Ella

She’s growing up in an advert for fabric softener or picnic blankets or having servants or something

ella as a little girl

She talks to the geese and mice and whatever

And she is her parents’ little princess

NOT AN ACTUAL PRINCESS THOUGH

THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ACTUAL PRINCESSES

WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS IS

FORESHADOWING?

Anyway, her mother dies suddenly of Plot

I mean they don’t even pretend it’s something else

She doesn’t even get that significant cough that people die of in period dramas

She just kind of keels over

But not before she screws her daughter up for life

By telling her to always let people treat her like crap

ella's dying mother smiling

Good luck with that.

(Actually she says “Have courage and be kind”

But the result is kind of the same.)

Anyway, years pass

Ella grows up

And her father presumably takes some kind of correspondence course with the University of Poor Life Choices

Because one day he’s like

“Welp, better marry a no-good, gold-digging meaniepants now.”

And he brings home Galadriel.

Guys

There is nothing wrong with wanting to marry Galadriel

Except Ella’s dad doesn’t bring home this Galadriel

galadriel being pretty

He brings home this one

galadriel being evil

Which is a mistake

No matter how cool her outfits are.

lady t in an enormous hat

Anyway, Evil!Galadriel

Whose name is actually Lady Tremaine

Throws a bunch of parties and stuff

Which Ella’s dad is not really into

In fact, he basically immediately starts acting like this whole marriage thing was something he was forced into

Even though he specifically says a couple of scenes earlier that he wants to do it

For happiness reasons

And goes on about how much he misses Ella’s mother

Which, I mean

I’m not a marriage expert or anything

But that seems like a good way to hurt the feelings of your new wife

You know

The one you really wanted to marry and be happy with.

It’s not totally inconceivable that she might be listening.

lady t in a doorway

She lives here.

Then again, he’s about to go away for several months

So I guess he can say what he likes.

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