I haven’t updated my blog for a couple of weeks. Here are some things I have considered blogging about in that time.
Times Taylor Swift was 100% factually accurate
Not as in “Taylor totally captured how it feels when you’re in love with a guy and he loves you back, or doesn’t, or did but then dumped you for an evil brunette, or never did because he favours evil brunettes, or when you’re dancing in your PJs with all your animal friends.”
I mean things that are actually, verifiably, scientifically correct. I’ve been mulling this over ever since “when it rains in your bedroom everything is wrong” (Forever and Always) because yes, it definitely is, and please consider calling a plumber. Then my attention was grabbed again by “bullets don’t fix bullet holes” (Bad Blood) because no, they don’t, and please consider contacting a medical professional. I thought I had the beginnings of a funny (in a certain light) Buzzfeed-style list on my hands, and trawled through the lyrics of every song on every Taylor Swift album on a lyric website looking for further examples and didn’t find any.
Sometimes when people ask what I did over the weekend, I don’t tell them the truth.
I’m not really trying to criticise Taylor here, incidentally. I think it’s pretty clear from the fact that I was willing to attempt this that I’m actually a fan. Just, you know, probably not the kind of fan she really wants.
An article about different ways you can (allegedly) make money by writing on the internet and whether any of them are any good
This actually wasn’t a terrible idea. If you Google “make money from writing”, you will find a whole bunch of suggestions. Some of them are ways in which you actually can make money from writing, albeit not usually to the extent that the click-hungry article-writer suggests. Example: “How you can make a million writing your own ebook!”
I have tried a few of them (besides ebooks). They were not as lucrative as advertised. I thought people might be interested in those experiences. Then I thought about the fact that some people do make money at them and decided that that blog post might just read like “Here are some things that I sucked at”. Although, on reflection, that actually does sum up some of my blog posts.
Resting bitchface throughout my life
I’m glad resting bitchface is finally becoming a recognised condition because I have suffered with it all my life. Evidence:
I am 100% sure that pictures like this exist of me at every life stage to date, but I don’t have them and didn’t feel comfortable calling my dad and saying “Hey, could you dig out a bunch of pictures of me looking grumpy as a child? It’s for the internet.”
In other news…
Here are some other things I can tell you about since we’re all here.
- Someone found my blog by searching for “opposite of social interaction”. My blog could well be the most accurate result for that search that Google could have produced. Well done, Google. Well done indeed.
- While researching for Faustina, I found this page of pictures of cats in Venice that you may enjoy if you like cats and Venice.
I have now posted four juicy, delicious chapters of Faustina: Beauty and the Beast in Venice on Wattpad. You have to make an account to read stories on Wattpad and that’s really annoying but if you do it I will love you forever and always (and promise not to make it rain in your bedroom). Please check it out and let me know what you think!